Family Love and the Alluring Unknown
My son got married this month. Whoa! That still blows my mind just thinking about it. As my oldest child he taught me how to be a mom which, to this day, is my proudest accomplishment. He is an amazing human being and he married his soulmate. We honestly couldn’t be happier.
The wedding itself was a full weekend-long celebration in a fabulous location on San Juan Island. Just over 100 family and friends gathered to witness them make their lifelong commitment. The weekend was simultaneously relaxing and playful, while also being exciting and at times frenzied. There was an almost magnetic blending of the two families. Perhaps more than anything, it was a time bursting with joy! I don’t remember ever feeling that sustained level of delight for days on end. It was an enchanting time, bubbling with laughter and filled with vibrant, lively energy. The ceremony was followed by a terrific party which culminated in music and dancing well into the night. My heart was filled to bursting with light and life.
Just two days after the wedding was my mom’s 90th birthday. My sisters and I had planned a small party for her. It was a lovely day, and a sweet celebration with her children and grandchildren. We sang songs and danced to music from her 20s and 30s. She taught us all how to do the Twist, “pretend to dry your backside with a towel while stubbing out a cigarette with your foot.” If you’ve never quite ‘gotten’ the Twist, put on some Chubby Checkers and try this - it definitely works! It was another love-filled day and a beautiful tribute to this loving and compassionate woman and a life well lived. We all have much to learn from her example.
I am now home again with all the busyness, celebrations and festivities of the summer behind me. What lies ahead is completely unknown. When I look over my many lists I try to approach each problem with a sound decision. I tend to analyze each choice I have to make, and ultimately I end up overthinking things. Moreover, most of the time I don’t have enough information to make a sound decision because I’ve never done anything like this before! As a result, I end up full of doubt and feeling unbelievably insecure. But I have also learned that self-doubt and insecurity are habits that reside where fear runs the show, where my decisions are made with wariness in mind, and where the thought of inviting in the unknown is terrifying.
So I remind myself to take a step back, and I recognize that the doubt and apprehension that I feel is from a past experience or belief and actually has little to do with what lies ahead of me. I can follow the path of least resistance, or I can choose to let myself dream of future possibilities. I can look at the unknown as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A time to create something new, to discover what brings me joy, and to live my life in a wholehearted way.